If it's green then it's syphilis.

I love the end of a school year.  I'm not too thrilled that I won't see some of my friends for a while, but I'm always thrilled at the prospect of going home.  The idea that I'll get to see my parents on a regular basis and actually have the chance to make them so fed up with me that we tiff, you know, the norm.  I also love it because the weather warms up, and the days are longer.  The grass is actually green, instead of buried under filthy snow and slush.  I can leave the window wide open to air out my stale bedroom, and overall, it just places me in a better mood (my siblings will beg to differ).

Today was a decent day, honestly, I think things are getting easier.  The days aren't too bad to deal with, and I know that when the day is done I can sit in my comfy chair and blog about all the things that I can't stand.  I was walking to Touchstones of Western Literature today and I randomly smiled because I was excited to blog.  I think I'm becoming a tad lame. 

So I went with my roommate to Queensbury, NY.  We needed to hit up the mall there for hers and Michelles (suite mate) birthday bash (trying to get Erica, my friend, in on it, it's her birthday too!).  We hit up Spencers and I got her some earrings and a cake mold so I could make them both a delicious cake (which I will not screw up this time).  Other than that, I've had quite a mellow day.  Did a nice work out which kicked mine and my sister's butt; though, it was just funnier to see her complain.  She doesn't know what I have planned for her tomorrow.

On the way back from Queensbury, I saw a railroad track.  It made me think of a few nights ago when I was extremely distraught.  I was fighting with a close friend of mine, and things didn't end well.  That night I went out and walked around.  My headphones in my ears, my hood up because it started to rain.  I went over to the bridge and I just stood there looking at it.  I'm not the type to be suicidal, so don't get that assumption.  I just stood there because I'm afraid of bridges.  I've noticed a lot that when I'm upset is the one and only time I really try to challenge myself.  I need to prove to myself that I'm capable of doing something that would otherwise scare the living daylights out of me.  So I stood there, rain soaking through my clothes, music still playing and I looked at the bridge.  I needed to walk over it, I needed to prove something to myself.  Faced with this, I did it.  Shaking from the cold and fear I walked step by step over the bridge, then ran back.  The point of the story, I placed myself in a position that made me uncomfortable.  I didn't have anyone there to guide me through it and that's what life is about.  Sometimes we won't have help and when that happens we need to rely on ourselves, and we just need to make the first step.

Do something out of your comfort zone, you may surprise yourself.

Deliciously bright days.

Today was wonderful (no sarcasm).  I woke up a tad early to do one dreadful workout.  I must say, when the  gym has a sign saying, "please leave this door closed because we have the air conditioning on!" then they should probably place the air conditioning on.  I mean, I'm no rocket scientist, but that sounds like a great idea to me!  I was sweating bullets the moment I walked into the gym.  I mean, I felt like all I had to do was stand in the gym for a few minutes and it could actually make me sweat nearly as much as I do with a forty minute routine.  Kind of sad..

After showering I grabbed my laptop pretending to keep busy.  Sitting by the window in the common room allowing the breeze to cool my body.  I got tired of that quickly though, decided it was time that I moved my lazy bum outdoors.  The thing is, since I'm blond, I tend to have really fair skin.  So I sat outside in my white t-shirt and jean skirt, soaking in the sun.  An hour and a half went by quickly, soon I was packing up my imitation snuggy which substituted as my blanket.  Dropped my things off, grabbed my books and proceeded to Logic class, where I was late and failed a test.  There was no escaping that one, I knew it was a failure the moment I walked through that door.  You'll have some winners, and you'll have some losers; gotta take what you get.

Went to rock climbing class, had a brilliant time.  I will admit, this is kind of silly but I happen to adore one of the guys who is in the class.  Not because he is beautiful, totally is though, but because he's sincerely nice.  Sadly, I had him belay (person holding the rope on the ground and spotting the climber) me today and as I was coming down he let me drop.  Well as I would like to say, I would rather my butt take the beating than my face.  So I do thank him for not allowing me to swing into the wall.  I'm pretty sure I wouldn't look too great with a sunburn on my face and a broken nose.

Time to end this thing.  Have you ever sat in the dark outside, looking around?  Felt the damp grass beneath your butt and hands?  Sniffed at the air as the breeze trailed passed your still form and tasted the soul deep quietness that goes along with being calm?  I feel as if one day we're all going to be in that position, sitting there in the dark but still feeling at peace with the knowledge that we're incapable of seeing our surroundings. We're not completely blind though, we just have to rely on our other senses.  Only then can we actually be ready, only then can we truly see. 

The start of something new.

Shall we start this crazy adventure that I call my life?  I do believe so. 

We'll start at my current location: I'm sitting in my dorm room on my comfy purple butterfly chair.  The window is open wide allowing the night breeze to tickle my bare legs.  My long blond hair pulled over my right shoulder as Anarbor blares from my hunter orange headphones.  My room is dimly lit, but only because the school is too cheap to place another light on the opposite side of the room, where my bed and desk just happen to be located. 

Earlier today I was walking on the sidewalks of my college (which I'll leave nameless) taking in my surroundings.  My peers milling around me, some with headphones in their ears blocking out the world around, and kids in groups chattering happily. I will confess, I'll always have my headphones plugged into my ears.  I don't do it because I choose to ignore the world around, but because I enjoy the music and meaning behind the lyrics.  Occasionally when I'm in a decent mood and the music is catchy enough you'll see me sway my non-existent hips to the music as I saunter down the dirt paths as if it's my own runway.  I'll be tapping my right hand against my thigh to the beat, and a smile will sometimes start at the corners of my mouth. 

Though I'll have to admit that between classes are the only times that I'm truly happy at this place.  I don't really understand what's so great about college.  I went into it with high hopes, but only because that's what people had gushed about; that it was worth my time, I'll make loads of amazing friends.. Yadda, yadda, yadda.  This isn't what I signed up for, if I had come into this place knowing that it was just like high school hell, but worst then I at least could have prepared myself.   I could have mentally gotten myself ready for the hell I would endure, but no one was kind enough to share that lovely fact with me.. No one.

Life is easy: I love how simple that was for me to write.  Too bad it's easily said then done. :)